Saturday, February 13, 2010

So I was watching "Lost," when suddenly ARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHH

There are few things as confusing or infuriating as that all-time favorite in serialized suspense - Lost.

Yet the most baffling part of the show for me is something that occurs in every episode - the titles.

What. Is. That. Why is the "S" covered in weird fungus? It's the same in every freaking episode. It's bad enough the sorry excuse for an opening sequence strains my eyes, but how in the heck are they going to miss weird black crap on the title? It annoys the hell out of me. I don't think I can watch this show anymore. It is not deserving of my respect. For a production that has the money and resources to film 90% of the show in Hawaii, you'd think they could get their animators to sort of clean up the title sequence. Freaking unpleasant.

Goddamn it, Britney.

I was listening to the radio the other day when Britney Spears' new song "3" comes on. And I loved it. Then I started listening to the lyrics. First thing that I heard was the mention of Peter, Paul, and Mary, a folk trio I grew up listening to. I was upset initially, thinking to myself, where does she get off, talking about Peter, Paul, and Mary, when she probably doesn't even know who they are? For some reason that pissed me right off. It's like some nutjob protester ranting about how Big Brother is watching us, when he hasn't even read 1984. Similarly, I don't believe Britney even has heard a Peter, Paul, and Mary song, and has no appreciation for their work or influence, and just throws them into her blender, grinding them to insignificance.

Then I did a little more research and discovered the song is about three-ways. Wonderful. I'm sure Peter, Paul, and Mary are happy to know their entire career has been reduced to a pop-song allegation of a menage a trois. And as if 9-year-old boys dancing to Soulja Boy on YouTube wasn't bad enough (do they even know what it means to "superman dat ho?"), I shudder to think of the imminent flood of videos of 9-year-old girls singing along to a song about getting double teamed. Jesus Christ. Thanks a lot, Britney. Go back to doing wholesome songs about abusive relationships and dominance & submissiveness.