Thursday, April 1, 2010

I just subjected myself to 2 hours of pure misery by watching "STEALTH"

The most annoying thing about this movie was the apples. Yes. The apples. Big fucking green apples in a bowl. They just sat there. Mocking me.

What the hell. What narrative purpose do they serve? None. Yet they are there. They're not metaphors or some kind of visual cue, they just sit there and...suck. Because what's happening in those scenes is so uninteresting to begin with, you are promptly drawn to the apples. They have their own dedicated light making them even more eye-catching for Godssake. Obviously the director wants the viewer to notice them. It's like the director knew this film sucked, so he decided to throw a fucking bowl of fruit in the shot to make the film seem "deeper." Oh look there's fruit in the scene! They must mean something! Hey this film isn't superficial at all!

I should also touch on the AI jet thing too, after all that is what the film is about:

It's brown. Who decided to make an AI fighter jet brown? They might as well have replaced the plane with a UPS van. That actually might have improved this movie.