Monday, April 19, 2010

So I finally saw Avatar.

My initial reaction was something along the lines of: "Uh, wow. What. Huh. Okay. Hm. Yeah..." I mean what can I say that hasn't already been said?

Well I'll at least try.

The RDA (wtf does that stand for anyways? Richard Dean Anderson?) colonists are complete morons. They didn't need to burn Hometree to the fucking ground to get at the precious minerals below it! Haven't they seen There Will Be Blood? They could have used the ol' Daniel Plainview milkshake trick to mine the Unobtanium without disturbing the Na'vi above it. You know...reach a straw aaaaaaaaaalllllll the way across the room and all that. I mean, mines don't have to go straight down...they can go side to side. Just start digging a couple miles away from the deposit and then tunnel straight to it.

Or, you know they could have just tractor-beamed a couple of those giant floating mountains (aren't they entirely made of Unobtanium? Isn't that why they FLOAT?)

But no, such a move would strip the film of that pivotal point when we realize how comically evil the bad guys really are. Or that Cameron's obligatory fiery Latina is a good person. (btw, how come she never had to answer for refusing orders and turning tail like that? Her gunner totally would have reported her, right?)

Lastly...




Where the hell is Jake's penis. If they are 12 foot humanoids, I figure he must have at the VERY LEAST an 8 inch schlong. But where is it? In this view, we are about 3 inches away from the top of his thighs, we should be seeing SOMETHING....

NOT THAT I'D WANT TO OF COURSE YOU UNDERSTAND